Many years ago, my neighbors and I started a group we liked to call, The Bear Creek Council.  It started with us guys who lived in the Bear Creek Valley in the South Tomah Area and had since grown from there to more of an attitude than a location.  We meet at a local diner Early Monday morning to have a cup of coffee or some breakfast and discuss the events of the past week.  We run it like you would a regular meeting with some loose form or Roberts rules and the bang of a gavel. So far the only rules are that you need to be a guy and married, but even those rules are pretty loose.  a Typical meeting goes something like this: 

Scott – Hear Ye, Hear Ye, this meeting of the Bear Creek Council will now come to order. (bangs coffee cup onto the table) 

(While discussion is going on around the table, Jerry is making hand gestures and quietly mumbling to himself, obviously in deep thought trying to figure something out.)   

Scott – First topic on the agenda – Wives.  Todd I believe you have an important Wife related issue to bring up?  

Todd: Oh yeah – Well, as you all know, my wife is great cook.  (All the guys grunt in favor of Todd’s wife’s cooking.) And you all know that she makes probably one of the best apple pie’s in the neighborhood. (Men Grunt again in favor. 

Wally: Truly a religious experience. 

Todd: Well, she caught me in the kitchen eating some pie and she says, “Todd, we need to talk.” (All the guys grunt a heavy, “oh nooo.” 

Wally: You know what that means… 

Todd: Yeah, I know, right? So she says, you and your buddy’s really like my pie. And of course I had to agree with her, cuz its true, but I could tell this was going somewhere so I was cautious.  (Guys grunt affirmation) Then she says, “I have to make a lot more pies just to keep up with all the new people coming through the kitchen now.” So I says, Uh, huh? (guys grunt again) Then she says, I think we should remodel the kitchen so I can cook more in here. 

(Everything goes absolutely silent – men all have a shocked look on their face.) 

Wally: Oh nooo… what did you do? 

Todd: I tell you, I stood my ground.  I looked her square in the eyes, took a deep breath and said… (Silence) So anyway guys when you wanna start working on that kitchen?  

(Guys groan all at once and shake their heads.) 

Wally: Tuesday? (Guys grunt affirmation) 

Scott: All in favor?

All Guys: Aye! (sadly)

(Silence again – but this time they all slowly look at Jerry who is still talking to himself and making strange hand motions… then he speaks) 

Jerry: So, how do you suppose that mouse got that little house up on there? 

(Guys all Grunt in confusion) 

Scott: What Jerry? (chuckles a bit) 

Jerry:  The mouse. How do you suppose he climbed up on top of that pig, and built that little house up there? 

(the entire restaurant and all the guys start to laugh) 

Jerry: (a little upset) No I’m serious guys.  How do you suppose he did that? 

Scott: Um Jerry – We’re gonna need more information, I guess. 

Jerry: Ok, so the other day I’m in the house and its really cold.  Its like twenty degrees outside and the house is like really cold. So I’m thinking the heater must be out.  So I call the heat guy. He comes out to the house and he goes downstairs to the furnace, then he comes back up and goes to his truck.  Then he goes back down to the furnace, then goes back up to his truck.  He must have done that six or seven times.  Then eventually he goes outside and then comes back in, just red in the face.  I mean really mad, and says. "The Pig!  You gotta fill the pig!" – But of course I had no idea what he was talking about.  Then he says, "The propane tank, out back!" 

Scott: Jerry they call that a pig. 

Jerry: Well, I told him, "Yeah that thing has been there since we moved in, I have no idea what its for."  

(the restaurant is laughing hysterically by this time) 

Scott: So what did he do then? (Laughing) 

Jerry: Well he took me out to the tank and showed me how to check to see if its full or empty. 

Scott: Ok, but I’m a little confused, what does this have to do with a mouse? 

Jerry: Well, so he opens up the lid on this giant metal tank and out jumps a mouse, which scared the shit out of both of us. He brushed away the mouse’s little nest and then he showed me the gauge. But all I kept thinking the whole time was, “How did that little mouse climb all the way up on that enormous pig and build that little house up there?“   

Scott: I guess some things are just a mystery Jerry – Next order of business – In-Laws

In October of 2011, my wife and I signed up for a satellite network subscription. Along with the subscription, we were given a bunch of new networks to watch on a trial period basis.  One of those was the OWN Network.  This was Oprah Winfrey's first year with her new network and she was still looking for ideas for new shows, unique guests, and new topics to explore. My wife and I had settled down for the evening and decided to explore our free networks out of curiosity.  We have always liked Oprah Winfrey and thought she was very inspirational.  Her new network was a bit raw in many ways but found the shows to be reflective.  We began to watch the first episode of a new show called Lifeclass.  The show was designed to be a program that was meant to be discussed after the program with friends or family.  It was a great way for people to constructively talk about topics they might normally shy away from. From the moment the Show started we felt hooked.  For you fellas out there... If you ever find a TV show that both you and your wife like together; watch it.  Its a rare thing to find something you both like.  So we did.  

After the first episode my wife said that I should try to find the website for the Lifeclass show and sign up for our Lifeclass Journals.  The journals were a way to participate in the discussion at home by your self or with a group.  When I saw the website I noticed a spot where it said, "If you like the Oprah Lifeclass show, send us a video and tell us what you think.  By this time it was 11 )'clock and I was in my home recording studio like usual.  I thought to myself, "Why should I just say something?  Afterall, I'm a songwriter I should write some music or something".   So I took a look at all the topics for all the shows for the first season, and found a creative way to put them together into the words of a song.  I wrote a melody and put some guitar chords to it, and before you knew it, I had a song called, When You know Better.  The chorus of the song was a quote by Maya Angelou, a famous author and poet that was a favorite of Oprah's. The quote said, "When you Know Better, You do Better."  I thought this was a great quote for me personally.  It means something like this; when we make a mistake we should remember what we did wrong and figure out tools to help us do better the next time around.  And afterall, I've made plenty of mistakes, so I know that making mistakes is easy. Learning from them and trying it again, is the hard part.  

So I finished the song, recorded a simple version of it in my studio and then made it into a video by putting a slideshow of family photos in the background.  I wasn't worried about having it be too fancy because I truly believed that it was 11 O'clock at night and I didn't believe anyone looked at this stuff anyway. Well, turns out, I was wrong.  Three days later I was sitting in the kitchen with my wife and the phone rang. the phone caller ID said, Harpo Inc. We knew right away that that was Oprah company and picked up the phone.   

They told me that they heard my song and Oprah loved it.  she wanted to have me sing the song on the next episode, and by the way, they wanted me to do it LIVE on camera.  And because I didn't have time to think about how terrifying it was, I said yes. Of course I was terrified to sing live on the show, but my wife was incredibly supportive and the production staff made me feel completely at ease.  

People always ask me about the Oprah Effect.  The Oprah Effect, I guess, is some kind of effect that happens after people have been on Oprah Winfrey.  These people seem to see success overnight and undergo complete transformations. Well, I'm not sure about all that.  I'm still the same guy in alot of ways that I always was.  I'm not rich.  I'm not ultra famous. But I have to admit that ever since I was on Oprah, some things about me have been dramatically changed for life.  Here are some of the ways I have changed: 

First, and most importantly, is that I am not longer afraid to try.  And that means just about anything. I realized that after I was on Oprah I was no longer afraid to reach for my dreams.  I was no longer afraid to fail.  I was no longer afraid to share my songs in public or even believe that I was worthy of stardom.  For most of my life, I thought that I wasn't a big star because ridiculous reasons like maybe I was too fat, too old, from too small of a town, or just not good enough.  But all the excuses I gave myself for so many years no longer made sense.  Because if I was good enough to sing on Oprah, I must be good enough to reach my dreams as well.  Since then, I don't think I have said no to hardly any opportunities. It's freeing really. 

I used to be so worried about what other people thought of me.  But the next thing that changed was that I no longer cared what other people thought.  I stopped listening to the voices of the people around me when they told me things that I knew weren't true.  I started listening to my inner voice, and more often than not, my inner voice has been correct.  

The last thing is all about confidence. When you stop listening to the negative people around you and you stop being afraid, you find an incredible sense of confidence. I went from the guy who asked "Why me?" Why do I deserve to be famous?  To the guy that said, "Why not me."  And like Robert Frost Said, "And that made all the difference."   

So, is there an Oprah Effect?  Maybe.  Or maybe I'm just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz; I had the power within me all along. All it took was the experience of being on Oprah to make me believe I was worthy of success.      

When You Know Better (Dedicated to Oprah) 
by Scott Wilcox (c) October 20, 2011 

I let go of my ego 
When I held my newborn child 
I let go of my anger when I looked into their eyes 
I've found that I've become 
What I truly do believe 
When I heard you say to me 
The truth shall set me free 
 
Oh I've taken a knock or two 
But when you know better, the better you do 
I got the hope to make it through, because of you 
But you've been there all along (Oprah) 
So now I'm givin' his song, to you. 

How my joy is rising 
I've become what I believe 
With my age I've found the time 
To appreciate true beauty 
No one else can take the blame 
For the life I've had to live. 
It seems I've had the strength to take 
Give me the strength to give.

The Song: 

Allis and John 
Written by Scott Wilcox (c) 2009 

It was 1952 on the day that they met 
Allis wore and orange dress that matched the sunset 
John was plowin' up cropland for the very first time 
Some called it love at first sight 
It was not soon after that John said, "Be Mine" 
It was under the willow tree that they would combine 
so they sat and watched the sunset and confessed their love 
And it was always enough 
John said Allis you got a beautiful design 
And they made hay while the sun shines 

She was Allis Chalmers he was Good ol John Deere 
Out there in the back yard it was perfectly clear 
that they were in love and as sure as you bet 
Every night they'd watch the sunset 

It was 40 years and I remember to this day 
the look of Allis when they towed John away 
Now she sits in the backyard and she's sittin' there yet 
Every night she'll watch the sunset 
Some of you might think this is just a silly song 
Singin' 'bout two tractors in love is all wrong 
But if you love farmin' as much as some do 
You might believe that its true 
John said Allis you got a beautiful design 
And they made hay while the sun shines 

She was Allis Chalmers he was Good ol John Deere 
Out there in the back yard it was perfectly clear 
that they were in love and as sure as you bet 
Every night they'd watch the sunset 

The Story: 

My stepfather, Keith Larson was a machinist. He was a kind and hardworking man who was a great husband to my mother, but not always the warmest and fuzziest father. Although he loved us, he didn't know how to show it, except through the things he could do for us. He's show his love by fixing the brakes on our car or once he built me a minibike. Although we never had what I called a loving relationship, I knew he loved me. When I became an adult, and got married and had children of my own, I thought we could find a project that we could do together. Keith had gotten an old Allis Chalmers tractor from his father when he passed. It need alot of work and I thought that working together with him would be a great way for us to bond. As we worked on the tractor I got to ask him about his childhood, his previous marriage and many other things that we just never seemed to have time to discuss. The project took all summer long. Towards the Fall the tractor had been sitting in my yard for almost 4 months like a giant lawn ornament.One night as the Fall sun started to set, I could see the silhouette of the tractor in front of an orange and pick sky. And although I know it sounds strange, I though the tractor, whom I affectionately called Allis, looked lonely. So I invented a story to make her life more full and worthwhile. 

The Meaning: 

Not all love is the same. Some people show their love by saying I love you, some show their love through the things that they do. Neither one is better than the other, just different. However, saying you love someone without showing them leaves a person feeling like the love is shallow, and only showing someone you love them never makes it seem real enough or concrete. So my suggestion would be to do a little of both. In the case of my stepfather, I knew he loved me but I never had the satisfaction of hearing him say it out loud to me. In the case of my real father, he told me he loved me all the time, but rarely came through when I really needed him. A person needs a little of both.

A good songwriter should be more than just a catchy melody played in the corner of the room.  A good songwriter makes you feel something.  A great songwriter will give you a memory you will never forget. 

I'm a guy blessed with the opportunity to live the dream.  I play music, full time, for a living, but this wasn't always the case. For many years I was in marketing and advertising.  I created radio and TV ads for some of the nations biggest companies and I was pretty good at it. But I wasn't happy.  I wanted to try something else; something that allowed me to connect with people and change their lives for the better.  I went back to school, got my masters degree in education and taught special education for 5 years. I loved being a teacher and l loved affecting the lives of middle school students.  Then one day a student approached me and told me something that again changed the direction of my life.  The student said, "Mr. Wilcox, you are my favorite teacher, but I think you are a hypocrite."  I was of course shocked, but I felt it necessary to ask him why.  He said that every day I would play guitar at the beginning of the day for my students and tell them that they need to find their calling in life.  Then when they find it, pursue it with all their heart and soul.  But somehow he thought I was not following my dream.  Hence making me a hypocrite. 

I thought long and hard about this.  In the end I realized that he was right.  You see, for my entire childhood, all I ever wanted to be was a rockstar.  I know, it sounds crazy.  My parents both had experience in the entertainment industry and because they knew how tough it was, always told me.  "Scotty, music is a hobby, don't quit your day job!"  So I didn't.  For 30 years. 

When I returned to school the next day, I made a deal with my student.  I said I'll try to book some shows and see how it goes.  Three weeks after I started playing out, I wrote a song and sent it into the Oprah Winfrey Lifeclass Show.  Three day later I received a call from the producer of Oprah's show saying that Oprah loved the song and that she wanted me to sing it on her show. 

Life doesn't usually happen like that.  But this time it did. 

Since then I've won the Bob Dylan award twice and sang in a Super Bowl  50 commercial with Seal.  All because a student called me a hypocrite.  The lesson: Don't let anyone tell you who you are supposed to be.  Only you know your path.  Listen to your own voice to guide you. 

~ Scott Wilcox 

   For booking email Scott Wilcox at songwriterscottwilcox@gmail.com

My mom Sandy and my Grandpa Vern Oftedahl

A Hero Steps In... 

The Night Dad Left 
When I was 12 my dad left. Now when I say left, I don't mean sat us down, had a long talk about how my parents marriage wasn't working, found a new place, gave us directions to find it and moved out. I'm talking, just left. In the middle of the night, told my mom he was going to California to help out an old friend and just never came back. The next day, I grew up. I had to; my mom now had to get three jobs to support my sister and I. I had to cook, clean, and fend for myself. they used to call them latch key kids. 

Luckily for me, I had a great grandpa who just lived 8 or nine blocks away. I'd always loved music, but in my family it was well understood that music was definitely not intended to be a full time career. And now that my mom was alone and I was "the man of the house" at 12, I knew that my job was to make something of myself so that my mom would always be cared for. I used to go over to my Grandpa Vern's house often. He was an amazing guy. From the time I was as little as I can remember my grandpa would put us grand kids to sleep at night with same two things. A hot water bottle for our cold feet (Grandma never like to heat the upstairs) and a story about World War Two from Grandpa. 

My grandpa was also a musician. He played trumpet with Wayne King and Gene Krupa's big bands in the late 30's. He was very good and some even told me one of the best. Although he never got rich, he made a good income for a time. Then WWII started and he eventually felt strongly that he needed to sign up and go to war like so many others of his generation. Grandpa was older than most the new recruits at the time and had two kids at home, my mom Sandy and my uncle Bob. He went to basic training and then almost immediately sent to the Battle of the Bulge. 

Grandpa's War Story  
During the winter battle grandpa said that many of his friends got trench foot or frostbite. The fighting was fierce and it wasn't long before his entire unit ran out of ammunition. The Germans knew that the unit was weak and so they loosed a hailstorm of bombshells onto their location. My grandpa said as he looked out of his foxhole trees would splinter like toothpicks, he'd hear the screams of the dying and injured all around him and then he says a miracle happened. As he looked up into the sky amidst the broken and splintered pines, he saw the image of God in a red robe with his arms outstretched. He never saw his mouth move, but he heard his voice say, "For lo, I am with you always!" 

When the image disappeared, the shelling stopped and you couldn't hear a sound. He popped up out of his foxhole and yelled out to the other soldiers, "Is anyone out there!" He heard many voices yell back affirmation. Then he told all the other soldiers to take their rifles and break them on a tree, because he said, "That way the Germans can't use them!" My grandpa knew they were coming soon. 

When the Germans found Grandpa's unit in the woods, they found them unarmed and with no ammunition. I guess they were not happy about this and took out their frustration on many of the soldiers. Most of the wounded were shot and those that could walk were made to get in a long line. They were stripped of their clothes and given German uniforms and boots with paper soles. And then they marched. And marched. They marched for hundreds of miles in the freezing winter. The boots with paper soles quickly got wet and rolled up and fell off in the snow and ice. Men by the dozen were dropping from frostbite to their feet. They were only occasionally given sawdust bread to eat, so many of them ate whatever they could find along the road like old apple cores, road kill and other horrible things. When a soldier would drop and could no longer walk, they were shot. My grandpa's excuse for surviving frostbite was that he just wiggled his toes alot. But my grandpa lived the rest of his life with disfigured toes from the experience. 

For awhile the American planes would fly over head and they would strafe (shoot at) the prisoners because they were dressed in German uniforms. Until one day when some of the men used their Jackets to spell POW in the snow. Grandpa said the planes wagged their wings and never came back after that. They walked until they came to a railway station. They were loaded into boxcars and packed in like sardines. Grandpa said they were made to sit "indian style" in long rows so that one man's hands would be praying on the man's back in front of him. They ate nothing the entire trip. Since the Americans were constantly trying to disrupt German movements, they would strafe the railroads often. On one occasion grandpa said he was praying, and while praying he felt his head be pushed to the side by an unseen force, and as this happened a bullet from a plane tore through the train, over his right shoulder, through the knuckles of the guy in front of him and into the back of the next. Many soldiers died from those raids. 

When the train eventually stopped they were unloaded and forced into a large concentration camp that was surrounded by fence and barbed wire. Grandpa said almost immediately off the train he saw one prisoner pushing and fighting with another smaller prisoner. Grandpa said since he'd just gotten off the train, he felt a sense of strength he hadn't known in days. He walked over to the bully and asked him to stop picking on the guy and to pick on someone his own size. The British man was very large and asked grandpa what he was going to do about it, and then called him a "Gold Brick". This was a term they used to describe someone who is a coward and "pampered too much". Grandpa wasn't sure what he should do, but when the Brit took a swing at Grandpa he did the only thing he could do. He grabbed him around the waist and wrestled him to the ground, when he had him on the ground he took his head and repeated beat it against the dirt until grandpa asked him, "Do you give?", and the bully gave up. Grandpa stood up, and turned his back to walk away, and when he did this the man jumped him from behind and as grandpa says, "beat him bloody." After he was dragged to the barracks to recover some of the other Brits told him he should have been more careful with that guy. Grandpa ask them why and they said he was a golden gloves champion back home in Britain. 

Grandpa spent many, many months in the concentration camp, barely surviving on sawdust bread, potato peeling soup and whatever meat hey could catch in the corners of the barracks. Grandpa was 98lbs when he noticed the sounds of the German soldiers rushing to leave the camp. Not long afterward, American soldiers came and freed them all. 

It took Grandpa awhile to return from the war. He needed to get his strength back, do some rehabilitation and get released. But things were different. He was different. Although he still loved to play trumpet, he lost all his teeth due to malnutrition. He was fitted with dentures and still needed some time for his feet to heal. Although he continued to play taps for the VFW and around the house, he could never play to the level he used to play before the war. And yet, even though he gave up so much, so many gave so much more. My grandpa was obviously a hero to me for lots of reasons. He went to war selflessly to save the rest of us. He sacrificed his teeth and his musical career and passion. And he stepped in to be my dad, when my real dad left. 

One thing that I have learned now that I am a dad, is that being a dad doesn't always mean giving your kids everything the want. It doesn't even mean you're going to always be able to give them everything the need. But its important to be there. Woody Allen once said "80% of success is just showing up." Well, Grandpa, Thanks for Showing up. 

~ Scott Wilcox

I was lucky in many ways.   I grew up in a family of musicians and entertainers.  My father was a popular disc Jockey in the 1970's. He got his start in radio while in the Air Force during Vietnam. I had the chance to meet many big stars and have many adventures.  My grandpa was a trumpeter who played in big bands in the late 30's with Wayne King and Gene Krupa. So I had plenty of family members in the entertainment business but each of them felt that they never realized their true potential and were a little bitter at times.  All my life I was told that music is a hobby - don't quit your day job.  As a kid, you listen right? So I did what my parents asked me to and I got a degree and then a "real job".  

I worked in advertising for about 20 years until the stress eventually got to me and a friend suggested going into teaching.  I liked working with kids so I spent two years to get my masters in special education. After getting my degree, I began to work at a small school in SW Wisconsin as a special education teacher.  I loved teaching.  Everyday I got out my guitar in the morning for a little bit and played a short song for the kids.  I would then tell them that they should make sure to use their talents and find their calling; and when they do, pursue it with all their passion and soul. 

One days a student came up to me after class and said, "Mr. Wilcox, you're my favorite teacher, but I think you're a hypocrite."  Of course I was taken back by this and paused a second to catch my breath.  When I asked why he thought so, he told me this, "Everyday you come in here, play a little guitar for us and then tell us to find our calling.  Then, here you are, with all this musical talent and you are doing nothing with it.  Doesn't that make you a hypocrite?"  I laughed, partly because I realized he was right, and partly because I was so proud that he used the word correctly.  After a short talk, I agreed to take some time the next summer to try and out a show together and play a few places, to see people's response.  then if it went well, I might consider doing it on the side. 

That Summer, I got some gigs and started playing out.  After about three weeks, my wife and I had started watching the new Oprah Lifeclass show on TV and we liked it quite a bit.  She asked me to check out the website one night and while I did, I got an idea to send in a song that I would write especially for her and the show.  I sent it in at about 11 o'clock at night and thought I'd never hear anything of it.  three days later I got a call on the phone, and it was a producer from the show who asked me if I wanted to sing my song live on the Oprah show for Oprah.  And of course I said yes.  

So many people ask me; "How did being on Oprah affect your music career?"  I like to correct them and says, the real question is how being on Oprah has changed my life. (For the record, I found Oprah to be just as amazing as you would think she would be.  She was kind, gracious and down-to-earth, in fact, I might even says, very normal!) Before being on Oprah, as I said, I believed that being a musician wasn't something that someone could do for a career.  I had begun to believe in all the reasons why I couldn't follow my dream, such as; 1. I was too old, 2. I was overweight, 3. I was from a small town, 4. I wasn't good enough... and on and on.

Strangely it hit me the day after I was on Oprah all the reasons why I couldn't do something, no longer made sense.  The answer to every question was, "wait, I was just on Oprah Winfrey!" ("I can't because I'm too old... Wait I was just on Oprah!") And if she believed in me, maybe others would too. I made a vow then and there to change all the things about my life that I didn't like.  Starting with my new music career. After Oprah, I just stopped saying no to opportunities.  

The next year I won the Bob Dylan Songwriting Award then again the year after that.  The next year I was a semifinalist for X-Factor (then tanked before getting on TV, lol), I performed on NPR's Big Top Chautauqua and Simply Folk, I won the Dream Night Talent Search ad Was a semi-finalist for the Overture Center's Talent Show, then a few years ago I was asked to sing in a Superbowl commercial with Seal.  My purpose is not to brag about my accomplishments, but to have you understand that for years I thought that there were many reasons why I would never succeed.  I felt as though I had a glass ceiling above my head which constantly reminded me that "this was as far and I would ever go." But then after I was on Oprah it disappeared. Being on Oprah didn't make me a better musician. It didn't make me suddenly famous. It didn't make me better looking.  But it made me realize that the only thing holding me back for all those years, was myself.  I was afraid to fail.  

What was strange was that I should have been used to it, I'd failed thousands of time and got used to having to just get back up and try again.  But for some reason music was different; more personal. When I lost my fear, I gained limitless potential that I never thought possible.  And so I continue to try, regardless of whether I fail or succeed.  Because in the end it doesn't matter either way, I'm still going to keep trying. 

In the comment below tell me your stories of struggle and triumph.  ~ Friends not fans. You guys Rock!